Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe...

WELL, life has been ooc since I last updated this lovely blog of mine.
February has been tough for me.. I've been to the dr a number of times, had an endoscopy, biopsy, about 8 vials of bloodwork done and there's still no knowing what is wrong w me and why i've been so sick since the end of last Nov.  I have another appt a wk from Monday to get the results of the endoscopy and biopsy and maybe that will give us some idea of what I need to do from here... one thing my DR told me is that I am extremely anemic and so he prescribe a strong version of iron pills for me to start taking and I have a followup appt in the end of april too so thatas good too I guess? I'm just so tired of being exhasuted and sick all the time.  The good news in life is that I'm getting more energy back b/c ive been forcing myself to eat, even if it makes me nauseous or feeling ridic.  B/c of my extra energy these past two weeks, I've started running more almost back to my running from last October/November.  I've still lost quite a bit of weight since last nov (probs about 12lbs total) because I've gained some back but it is ridiculous. sometimes i dont feel like eating anything so ill eat a bowl of blue bunny reduced fat, no sugar added double strawberry ice cream for dinner and then the next day I'll have lost 2lbs. it is bananas, my body.
ANYways, back to my running.  Last wk I was running about 30 mins 4x a week and this week I did much more! I ran my first 10+ mile run since November on Monday, then I had a light run on Tues and yesterday (abt 4 miles each) and then today, oh today. I ran about 85 minutes, 13.66 miles.  I am still so sore and tired but its a good feeling to be like this again.  It has been so long but its nice that I am getting more energy back and am able to run liek this again.
The most exciting part of my life right now is the Disney Princess Half Marathon Weekend! I am leaving bright and early tomorrow morning for DISNEY WORLD!!!!! I am sosososo excited! I have been working towards this life goal since August of 2009 when I weighed about 218lbs.  I'm now abt 70ish lbs lighter and in shape and ready for this race! One of my favorite sorority sisters is running also and staying in the same Disney resort as my family and I so we are catching the bus to the race together and then meeting up afterwards to take pictures with our medals :)  I am so excited! I need to figure out where I am going to meet up with my family when I get done or what to do with my phone b/c I have no way of contacting them after so we will see I guess....I need to make sure I print everything out and whatnot before going to bed tonight.

Also, I havent even started packing. I mean, I have a pile of clothes in my room that I need to put in my carryon bag and rolly bag so I need to get on it. I need to find my old nike shoes to wear when we go to the park on Saturday. I really want to wear my stretchy yoga pants the day we go to the park but IDK I might wear jeans so it'd look nice when we take pictures w/ characters and whatnot. I j want to be comfortable and in unconstricting clothing b/c it makes my stomach hurt when I eat ANYTHING so Idk. We will see but I'll pack everything j in case.  I want to go to Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom but now I am thinking I want to do Magic Kingdom and MGM (which apparently since I was last there in 2002, they renamed to hollywood studios? LAMMMME.) but we'll see what my family wants to do...

I just hope my dad doesnt ruin this for me and make it even more stressful like he does to most things in my life that I am most excited for so we will see I guess.

School is already stressful and so is work. I've been trying to find jobs for next year and I've already applied to quite a few but who knows what will happen.  I'm taking only 4 classes but I have a total of 13 credits so its still alot of work. For my elder law class, I have a 20pg paper due on the last day of classes, for my advanced family law practice class I have a 10pg memo due on the last day of classes too.  THEN, I have 2 finals, one for my Income Tax class and then my Bar Refresher course, which is my last final, ON A SATURDAY hahaha. I have a break b/w my last final and graduation from May 7-22 but there is a Dean's Reception on the 21st my family and I are going to as well.  I am just really excited to have 2 stress free weeks before starting intense bar studying. OK, I dont want to think about that j yet and get stressed out.

Its almost 730 already and I still need to put my laundry in the dryer and pack. I think I will go upstairs to back in like 15 min to watch Jeopardy as I pack everything for this weekend!

I will definitely be better about posting later on now that I am feeling better finally.  I will also be sure to post pictures from my half marathon on sunday next wk sometime.  Next wk will be hectic for me too b/c i have plans to meet up with friends for dinner on monday, lunch on tues, Alpha Gam EC in high point on tues night, dinner w friends on weds night, and then on thurs, a WLA Exec meeting at lunch, Judges Panel on Thurs night, and then the MPRE (multistate professional responsibility exam). I took it in November but I didnt pass by like only a few points and that was probs one of the most depressing things in life.  I am for srs gunna have to pass next Sat or else I will be stuck having to RETAKE that damn exam again in August, the morning of one of my friends' wedding. it will be interesting. I am j going to study as much as I can the next wk and half so I can pass. I hope Im ethical enough this time around for North Carolina.


ANYWAYS, time for some Jeopardy and packing!

xoxo, MANISHA!

New Design YAYAY!

I figure since its a new year, it's time for a new design to my blog! I love the orange and the designs and the fun fonts yay! Hopefully this will be more fun to look at than that boring grey from before haha

On another note, I still want to see Black Swan. so many other movies. I wish I had the energy to actually get up and go and do something. 

I exercised for the first time today since Dec 22.  It was really hard and I was seeing spots and dizzy after so I stopped after 30 mins.  I could barely get my weight lifting in, I only got 2 reps on each arm before I had to quit.  I was so drained at the end of that 30 mins I literally had to lay on the floor for 30ish mins until I could move again. I guess I pushed myself too hard today.  I am going to take the next two days off and try again monday morning.  i was even feeling somewhat good this evening after running to school to get a book and then to the bank so I tried to eat a lean cuisine for dinner. I didnt even finish it and the tomato sauce in it has upset my stomach for the past 4 hours. I feel so sick to my stomach i wish i could just throw up and feel better at thispoint... i already have eaten like 8 tums but idk what to do anymore. 

im laying here watching say yes to the dress right now.  theres a girl who ordered her dress over a year ago, is there for her first fitting oh and shes preggo now. srsly? the dress was too small when she got it thinking that she could lose 15lbs but instead shes now having a baby and the dress doesnt fit and like even ripped. OOC. thank god for indian weddings--they may be a headache but i know that id never have a problem like that. saris are like a one size fits all. AND I dont even have to go shopping, my mom has already given me her wedding sari for my wedding (if that ever happens).  its like plain compared to modern styles but you know what, whatevs. its from 1975 and my mom wore it when she married my daddio in the motherland so that is more special than any amount of bling. its so beautiful I remem when i was little always asking my mom to show me her wedding sari.  its in my closet at my parents house right now so maybe I will bring it to my house next time Im in danville. at the very least, if i never end up getting married, at least I have something pretty to look at in life :)

well, my stomach is rly not feeling good right now so i think im gunna call my moms and see what to do. im really anxious to see what this preggo bride is gunna do on Say Yes to the Dress..

Its been a while....

Yeah ,its been quite a while since I last posted on here... to be quite honest, I've been in a really bad place the past few months..pretty much in every sense but then I think that you know, I have clean air to breathe, I beautiful home, a fantastic education (debt free, thanks mom+dad), and a wonderful family so in the long run, I am really lucky.
I've been pretty sick since the Monday after Thanksgiving last Nov.  I had my treadmill accident on Nov 13 and  so finally my wounds are better, still itching and scarred but at least its not painful and unbearable.  WELL, since the Monday after T-giving, I had a really bad bout with the flu.  Afterwards, I would randomly throw up and not be able to keep any food in my system (I was even sick during my family law final, bananas, right??!) well, I finished my finals on like Dec 5th and so I started working intense afterwards until my family's Christmas trip to NYC.  My family celebrated Christmas at home (at my house for the first time ever I hosted!!!!) and my aunt and her fam came here as well. It was such a fun weekend and my brother was here too b/c he took off the last two weeks of 2010 to spend with family and his friends. Well, I was ok during the NYC trip (which is another intense story in itself--see below) but I still couldnt really eat much without getting sick one way or another and rarely had an appetite, which was unfortunate bc NYC has some of the BEST restaurants ever ever.  Well, our NYC trip was pretty much doubled in length b/c we were stuck in the Christmas blizzard there.  We were supposed to come home the Sunday after Christmas, but we ended up leaving Manhattan right as it started snowing a lot and sticking but made our way to La Guardia.  WELL, we ended up stuck in the airport for nearly 9 hours and after 3 cancelled flights we made new reservations and made our way back to the City bc the next flight we could get to Raleigh= WEDNESDAY (yes, it was sunday so that means- 3days 2nights more in NYC).  I was ok the second half of hte trip and then we got back, I did a little quick shopping b/c the next day (Friday) was Birthday Eve and I was meeting my bff April in Richmond va to celebrate my turing quarter of a century.  WELL, birthday eve was all good and fun and low key, just what I wanted after an exhausting week traveling and stuck in the snow for like ever (i lovelovelove snow but that was ooc.).  I didnt even drink that much, maybe like 3 drinks over the course of 8 hrs.  All through the night and all next morning, I was so sick and I just thought I was hungover bc I hadnt really had anything to drink more than a glass or two of wine since November. WELL NO. I was so sick all day. April and I went to this doughnut shop b/c I wanted one so bad for my bday (since I never let myself eat them since before aug 2009) and I couldnt even keep 1/4 of my bagel down or any gatorade or water.  It was pretty terrible and I just coudnt stop throwing up.  I barely made it out of richmond and I not only stopped on the side of the road 2x to throw up, but I had to stop at a sketch gas station b/c I couldnt drive anymore, threw up some, and then talking to my mom on the phone, she siad to just sit in my car a little and try and drink some gingerale until I get energy to drive the rest of the way to my parents' house.  well, i ended up falling asleep in my car at the gas station for nearly 2hrs until some lady thought i was dead and got an employee from inside and they were knocking on my window to make sure I was ok... remem that this is my bday. I pretty  much trhew up nearly 20x on my birhtday and my parents met me halfway from danville and one of them had to drive my car home bc I was such a mess.  the week after my birthday was pretty painful too b/c ever since the ridicness on my bday, i lost all appetite, i am nauseous all the time and the smallest things will make me sick to my stomach.  Ive been to the dr 3x since the week after my bday and none of my dr's know what is wrong with me.  I've had blood tests and other tests and the first thing my dr diagnosed was gastrointestinitis (which is NO FUN AT ALL) but I should be better by now but I still have no appetite for any foods (even all the bad stuff I havent let myself eat for the past 1.5years) and Im nauseous a lot of the time and super dehydrated.  Im just really weak in life at this point. I have even had trouble sleeping, waking up 3-4x a night and barely sleeping 4-6hrs each night.. and even when I try to eat, I get this intense pain in my stomach liek nothing ive ever experienced before...  Since my bday, Ive lost about 12ish lbs (i even ate like doughnuts, toast, string cheese, and gingerale for a few days and i lost 2 lbs, srsly???!) Ive been pretty depressed and stressed lately b/c I just feel terrible all the time, I feel so lonely all the time (hence my constant trips to danville and the wkends iM not there my mom has been here with me) and I just dont have the energy to even see my friends since classes started last Tuesday.  Im just really sad really in life. I am just constantly feeling terrible and weak and so I guess I've just been secluding myself. I come home in b/w my breaks in class to nap and I cant ever seem to sleep enough at night (except on thurs-sat nights b/c i take 2 benadryls to sleep 12+hrs w/o waking up). its j been pretty bad lately...I have a colonoscopy shceduled for next friday so hopefully that will lead to some insight to why ive been feeling so terrible for so long. my brother the surgeon has been telling me to try a gluten and lactose free diet for the past few wks but its just so hard b/c that is wiping out the one thing I actually can eat (toast) but IDK, maybe I should try it? My mom and bff April suspect that all of this is stress induced and I am literally making myself sick. Idk what is going on but Ive made quite a few changes in my life to

so there you go, thats why ive been so mia lately.  my family has been amazing though through everything. my mom (while shes still recovering from surgery on her right hand) takes care of me when i come to danville or she will come to greensboro and take care of me here so I dont expend too much energy of what I have. she has been so amazing these past two months (the last 4 wks especially) Idk if Id even be here if it werent for her in my life.  she really has been my strength through all of this...

in other world manisha news:
Christmas Trip to NYC
well, this trip was just amazingness. spent a lot a lot of money but it was so much fun. for our planned portion of our trip, we stayed at the W Time Square.  It was rather modern for my family but we didnt really spend too much time in the hotel other than sleeping (well for my sister and i at least).  we saw quite a few shows (Mamma Mia, Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall w the rockettes, West Side Story) and got to do a lot of fun touristy things I always wanted to do (NBC Studios tour, Top of the Rock, seeing the tree at Rockefeller Center, walking 5th avenue, seeing all the store christmas window displays) and I got to do a ton of shopping during the whole trip (one of my all time favs--H&M, famous flagship Macy's on 34th Street, Bloomindales, always.).  It was just a ton of fun.  Other than spending 2 days in the airport it was pretty much amazing. my bro found this delish indian hole in the wall restaurant for christmas (haha of course we would) and it had the best raasam ive had in my entire life, hands down.  On our second half of the trip, we ended up staying at the Westin Times Square and it was pretty much amazing. Im not gunna lie, I really love the Westin.  I really wish we'd stayed at the Marquis again but the Westin was amazing so no biggie.  ALSO, I had some of the most amazing NYC pizza, it was delightful. We ate at the same local pizzaria that my mom sis and I ate at when we stayed at the Westin during our summer 2007 trip. so deliciously amazing. it was pretty much like heaven in food form.  On the second half of the trip is when we made it to Macys and Bloomingdales.  And we got to see the tree again with snow it was just so beautiful.  Loveed the shopping but all the ooc people made me not even want to look at all the amazing sales, sadright? well even with the extra days, I was able to meet up with some of my favorites Derrick and his wifey Leigh for bfast, that was fun. ANYways, we were supposed to leave nyc the 29th at like 6am but it was the first day airports were open since all of the snow and all of the flights already sched for that day had to go first. we were on the 6am flight, supposed to leave our hotel on the shuttle coming to pick us up at 3am frm the hotel but around 1am, my brother woke up suddenly getting a bad feeling so he called American Airlines to check on ourflight and what do you know, it was CANCELLED. so frm that, he spent nearly the next hour and half getting all 5 of us on flights, we were all willing to split up and travel separately if we could just get to NC. My dad and sister had to go to work so they got the earliest flight. They were on the first open flight to Charlotte getting to NC around 11am. My mom was on a flight that would get to Raleigh NC around 7pm by way of Dallas/Ft Worth (w a 2hr layover there). And my bro and I. well, my brother and I got a flight to Raleigh leaving frm JFK airport (remem that we are in La Guardia at this point since about 4am) arriving to Raleigh at 1030pm by way of MIAMI. Yes, that is right, we flew 3+hrs frm NYC to Miami, then frm Miami 1.5 hrs to Raleigh. My dad and sis's flight to charlotte was cancelled. At this point, my mom had left for dallas/ft worth and the rest of us were so fed up, we got a rental car but they got on the later flight straight to Raleigh so they left on that direct flight.  Apparently all of our checked bags were sent to CLT on that first flight at 6am since we checked in so early so we didnt end up getting our bags until the next evening.  My dad and sis got home to danville around noon that day. my mom's flight took off well to dallas and then once my dad and sister's flight took off my bro and i waited for the shuttle to JFK and got to the beautiful JFK airport. srsly, it made la guardia look likethe ghetto.  well, our flight was packed to Miami and it was ridiculous b/c we waited nearly an hour late to take off bc there were ooc ridic people who didnt understand english and they were standing around in the plane and wouldnt shut up in spanish or sit down and they put all their crap (srsly more than the allotted 1 bag and 1 personal item) in the overhead compartments so there was literally no room anywhere.  Also, they had the loudest small children I wanted to punch repeatedly.  We ended up getting to Miami an hour late and my brother and I's flight was supposed to take off right as we landed in Miami.  We basically talked to the flight attendants to see if the people w connecting flights get off first (we were in the back of the plane on top of it!!!) and so we finally got off, tried to run through the jetway but more people with ridiculous small children wouldnt move fast or get out of the way and my brother and I literally had to knock people to the side so we could get into the terminal. We had to run 15 gates in less than liek3 mins.  we got to the gate and everything was closed at that point and we got the guy to open the door again and he basically told us they gave our seats away and talk to the flight attendants when we get on the plane and they just told us to sit whereever there were open seats. We literally sat down and the plane took off. it was BANANAZ. we finally made it to Raleigh and my dad sis and mom were there waiting for us. but yeah, there is my christmas NYC trip the short version.

Winter Term 2011
well, winter term was supposed to be my time to work and make a lot of money and enjoy my time away frm the place that is called elon law but I was so so so sick, i didnt really get to enjoy any of it and i didnt even get to see my friends at all.  it was a pretty stressful time too because i was/have jsut been so sad and depressed and sick that it was terrible.  I had a pretty low night the week before classes and mym om and sister almost came to my house that night but i just ended up going to bed really early and getting rest. winter term really was just lame b/c i didnt get to enjoy not having school but whatevs i guess.

Spring 2011 Semester
well, classes started 2wks ago, I have class only on M-Th.  I have one class on M and W so I go to work in the mornings before and then on T and Th i have 3 classes so Im really exhausted on those days.  Im taking Federal Income Tax, Advance Family Law Practice, Bar Refresher, and Elder Law.  My classes are pretty good and interesting but I never wouldve imagined that 13 credits would be so exhausting.  Tax is just intense in all sense of the word so i really am focused and pay attention in that class. AFLP is not hard at all because of my experience with my job and really, the past two classes my prof has just verbally briefed our assigned cases and read statutes to us so its been kinda boring but she assures us that it will get better after we get through the bulk of the law.  Bar class is intense but gives me confidence that I can make it through the summer. I j need to stay focused and study really hard.  We had our first quiz today and I did a lot better than expected (8 out of 10 right yayayay) so its giving me a lot of confidence going into the semester.  My elder law class I chose b/c I did the Wills clinic last semester and really enjoyed it and I want to practice in estate planning in life so I feel like this class will help me have a well rounded background going into the workforce (hah).  I have a big paper due for this class instead of a final so I am looking forward to spending some time on writing an amazing article (hopefully sending it somewhere to be published hopefully!!!!!!) and have an amazing writing sample for jobs.  I am in the beginning stages of narrowing my topic but I am thinking of doing something dealing with the cultural and societal differences of how elderly people are treated and cared for in the United States and India. I am hoping to incorporate the law with issues about public assistance (medicare, assisted living homes, etc in the US, and um, NOTHING in India b/c old people are taken care of their families, primarily the sons when they are old). I am still trying to figure out how to focus my research at this point and bring in the law but hoepfully it will turn out amazing. I will definitely post updates as to how it's going! YAY.  Also, I got all my grades back frm last semester on last wkend.  It was a pretty great semester for me and my summer school grades definitely made my gpa the best gpa Ive had for a semester since high school (true story, i didnt do crap in college other than drink, go to class, be involved in student orgs, and sleep).   it was a pretty great feeling. my law school gpa (w one smester left) is already higher than my 4 yr cumulative gpa from VT. pretty f-ing amazing if you ask me :)

Family
Srsly, I love my family, they are the best. Idk what I would do without them.  My sister took my dad and I to the Duke/wake forest bball game 2 wkends ago and then she took me to the US National Figure Skating Championships last wkend for the womens short program and free skate. it was pretty amazing seeing it in real life versus just watching on tv.

Friends
well, Im not going to be catty and post my social life issues on my blog for the world to see but things are ok with my friends. I hate that i dont have the energy to even hang out and see them outsdie of school. one of my closest friends here wanted to do a belated birhtday dinner for me once the spring semester started and my close group of friends was back but ive been so nauseous i cant even stand being in a public restaurant b/c the smells make me so sick.  so it just kinda sucks.  next wk, i am definitely going to try and spend some time w friends outside of school so hoepfully things will get better...

Running/Weight loss
well, weight loss is not on my radar but I have come to terms with the fact that my weight will shoot up when I get better and start eating normally again. my running has been non-existent since Dec. 22, 2010.  This is the most unfortunate thing about the past month and half because ever since Aug 2009, I have planned to run the Disney Princess Half Marathon on Feb 27, 2011.  I used to have a 6-6:30 minute mile and would run 7to 11 miles on a daily basis and I am so out of breath going up my 2 flights of stairs in my townhouse. I am really worried that I wont be able to run, let alone finish.  I hope that I can  make it. I think if i get a good amount of sleep tonight, I am going to try and exercise tomorrow for the first time since Dec.  I willl probs j try power walkng on my treadmill for a little bit and maybe use my rly light weights and do some arm exercises b.c it is srsly flabby and unfortunate looking :( my mom wants me to try Yoga to help me with my stress issues so Im goingto try the yoga dvds she got me and I finally opened my Wii Fit Plus that my sister got me for my birthday and see how that works for me but I might save that for next week. I really dont want to do too much too quickly and wear myself out before I even get to disney world.  before I got sick, my goal was to finish in under 2 hrs but at this point, I want to finish and be under 3 hrs. based on my pace frm my first race last March, I had about a 13 min mile and so I did the calculations and even with that pace its under 3hrs so hopeuflly i can make it. my whole family is coming with me to cheer me on so I am really excited.  This has been my goal for so long, I just want to accomplish something to show some meaning to all of my hard work in my weight loss journey since 2009. I used to be nearly 220lbs back in Aug 2009 and have lost over 70lbs so I want something to show for it hah.

ok well, i am exhausted and I swear to keep this updated more consistently in 2011. its going tobe a rough year with the bar exam but I am taking the NC Bar Exam in July of this year so hopefully I can make it to August and my Hawaiian post-bar/graduation trip!

here are some imp dates in life for 2011:

• Feb 25-27 --> Disney Princess Half Marathon Weekend
• March 18-29--> Spring Break (perhaps a cruise/somewhere warm vacay w my moms depending on potential job interviews in raleigh<--cross your fingers for me)
• April 15-17--> Blacksburg for 04/16 and the 3.2 Run for Remembrance
• April 29--> Elder Law Paper/Article due
• May 4--> Federal Income Tax Final Exam
• May 7--> Bar Refresher Final Exam (a 4hr final for a p/f class, srsly life???) 
• May 9-20--> Alcoholism at it's finest/tying up loose ends at work ;)
• May 21--> Graduation Reception with Family and law school people
• May 22--> CLASS OF 2011 GRADUATION FROM LAW SCHOOL!!!!
• May 23--> Barbri starts. hello 15hrs/day bar studying and no life.
• June 2-3--> DC for NKOTBSB!!!!!!!!! fangirl for life.
• June 24-25--> best girlfriend/sorority sister's wedding in the GSO! Love her cant wait to be her bridesmaid!!!
• July 25-27--> NC Bar Exam
• August 6--> Friend's Wedding in Thomasville NC
• Aug 7-15/16--> HAWAIIAN VACAY

ok, thats all I can think of right now. time for 2 benadryl sleep. 

loveme. <3