The Big C

Sooooooooo. The big C. 

This was never something I imagined I would ever have to deal with in my life but here we are. And if you know me, you know I deal with awkward and uncomfortable situations with humor so here's Michael Scott thinking an ingrown hair was cancer/STD.

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My stress and anxieties have been on overdrive and out of control since I got the call from my doctor back in August. I limited who I shared this information since it was pretty early and still getting tests and waiting to meet with a good surgeon. I took a chance and talked to my fam (parents, sibs&their spouses) pretty early on, which I know I could not have done without my bff Carlie as my nonstop support. When I shared with my family about my Rheumatoid Arthritis back in 2016 and it did not go well, which made me close up and not share much at all with the family or publicly. All that changed when a law school classmate shared her battle and kicking breast cancer's ass a handful of years ago and truly inspired me to be more open abt my RA and all the hits/misses with my treatment&RA meds. All this feels like an alternative reality but I am taking it all day by day with my close circle around me to hold me up when I can't do it alone.

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After a month (or so) of stress not sleeping or eating, I finally got some concrete answers after a lonnnnng visit to Duke Cancer Center.

So thankful for this beautiful 🦋🦋 for coming with me and being a rock for me all that day.

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One thing I didn't mention in my life update post was that I also became a Burn Boot Camp addict. After joing the local Greensboro gym in January 2020, covid shut all the things down and I started working out with the BBC headquarters' 9AM Livestream workouts. The master fitness programmer at Burn HQ Matt Morris and all the ladies who workout on the lives have become and feel like my own gym fam. I was so excited to visit Burn Lake Norman in June when I was in Charlottw for a conference and it was amazing to finally meet everyone I had spent 2+ yrs working out with at home! 

Wish I lived closer to Burn LKN!!!!

The Burn Live crew sent me this beautiful arrangement of roses and berries as I deal with this diagnosis and try to figure out what the coming months hold for me.

I am literally at such a loss trying to wrap my brain around this and the C and for all I care it can go fuck itself but I'm going to trust my triple vetted surgeon at Duke Cancer Center and his team.

So now, I'm just going to lean on my besties, who a have been amazing humans. Asking for help, support, someone to lean on, etc. is so hard for me but if you can't when cancer is involved, when IS the time to ask for help?

One of the reasons I decided to start blogging again is because a wise friend of mine always suggests that I get back to blogging whenever a crazy/stressful time faces me (thanks AW!). I used to love this blog back in the day so I'm looking forward to sharing my workouts again, super fun and cute outfits, and this journey with the big C.